You know you need a break when...

whenever, if you ride MUNI, you need a break whenever, all the time, every day. Each instance of coming into contact with MUNI is cause for a vacation.

I have been meaning to start a blog or column about MUNI for years. My friend J at work came up with the name MUNIFace. It's perfect. I have MUNIFace right now. You can recognize it, it's similar to the face of a psychopathic madwoman who has constipation.

Anyway, this morning I got to the bus stop at Haight and Divis. One block away, I saw a bus pull up. I got greedy and didn't run for it thinking another would come. It was about 9:12 a.m. I approached the stop at 9:18 - at least that's what the clock on the stop said. The electronic message board also said next two buses arriving in ten minutes. Ten minutes later there was a crowd of about 18 at the stop. The 6 pulled up, pretty full, but of course the back was empty. I got on and squeezed my way all the way to the back where only three of us stood. The front half of the bus was packed like sardines. A few people opted to wait for the 71 that was up the block a bit.

By Van Ness, the bus was quite empty but I decided to do the connection to the underground. I hopped off, ran underground, put my pass in the turnstile machine and then ran smack into the turnstile - my pass was not accepted. A few more tries and I finally went to the window. "Your May pass is not working yet." "What?" "Your May pass is not valid today." "What? Why? It's April 28." "Your May pass is not valid until May 1." "What? No, that's wrong, it's valid three days before and three days after." "Your May pass is not valid today." 5 minutes of this later, MUNI lady says she isn't going to sit there and argue with me. So I said, fine, I'll go around. She says, "what are you doing?" as I go around through the disabled entrance (very PC) and walk down the stairs to the platform, in a huff. No train.

No train. No train. Loudspeaker comes on, "A monthly MUNI pass is good on the first day of the month. The grace period extends into the following month. For example, your May MUNI pass is good on May first and for the first three days of June." And then..."COB backup please to Van Ness station." I knew this was about me. I knew it. The train had not come yet. MUNI police were on their way. I wonder what they do to you....do I stay and find out or do I go back upstairs?